oh lord…
It has come to my attention that my mom is reading my blog. Which means there’s only one way to solve this.
We’re going to have a frank discussion about sex.
You see, when a man loves a woman very much they ok are the new people gone yet?
Three things.
1) I had been operating under the impression for a while that I was, in fact, a nice guy. One of those nice guys that any parent would be happy to have their daughter date. Turns out this isn’t true, as I just broke up with a girl over email today. Jake pointed out that it could have been worse. It could have been over Twitter.
2) Speaking of Jake, he has designs for a bet. And not just any bet. He wants it to be in the true Adam Paysse tradition of bet idiocy, which means that the stakes are both extremely high and at the same time of no real consequence.
The Bet? Starting Monday, the first person who fails to exercise for an entire hour every day, Monday through Friday, loses. The winner then gets to have the loser try and pick up two girls, with a pickup line of the winners choosing. The potential for horribleness is high, and exciting.
3) I just bought tickets for Jake and myself to “Playin’ with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater in July. Now I know somebody out there is all like, “But Tom, the Steve Allen Theater is in Los Angeles!”, to which I would respond, “Duh.”
For those in the know, my secret fanboy crush on Kate Micucci isn’t much of a secret. Or the fact that I want to be a Garfunkle and Oats groupie. So the trip should be fun for the whole family then the man puts his penis inside the woman’s vagina, commencing sexual congress.
Nine months later, a baby is born.