job interview…
Looks like I have a job interview on Monday. I’ve reached the point with my job applications where I just don’t really care anymore, since I never hear back from anyone anyway. This was the cover letter I sent:
Man, I think this is the third time I’ve seen this position posted, and now the third time I’ve applied. Third time’s the charm I guess, right? Either that, or I’ve just gotten to the point of being creepy and I’m only moments away from a restraining order. But I wouldn’t keep applying if I didn’t know I would be awesome for your job.
Solid computer skills? Hell, I’m typing this on a computer, believe it or not. I even managed to spell most everything properly and use the shift key in appropriate places. I even navigated the often treacherous information super highway to send you this message. I might go so far as to call myself “savvy” if I was feeling saucy. And I am.Outstanding customer service? I service customers in ways you couldn’t even begin to imag… wait, that sounds horrifying. Let’s just leave it at outstanding.Comfortable using a telephone? I’ve been using a telephone since, believe it or not, the age of 2. Some call me a telephone prodigy. I can both talk *and* listen, dial, and, if I really like you, I’ll even play “Mary Had a Little Lamb” using the keypad.Common sense? There is nothing common about my sense. It’s uncanny. Like a mutant power. Except not one of the cool ones that would get me into the X-Men. In fact, if there’s one organization that’s ignored my applications more than MCN, it’s the X-Men. Heartless bastards.So there you have it. You should hire me, not just because I need a job, but because I’m awesome and I need a job.
That’s right. I’m this awesome.
June 4th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
“There is nothing common about my sense.”
Classic. Well played, sir!
What’s the job?
June 7th, 2009 at 11:26 am
This is the kind of cover letter that only ever works in movies. It is pretty funny though, so maybe they have a sense of humor? Good luck on the interview!